I'm sorry, Mello
by MeowMeowGummybear
Summary: My first oneshot!: A dying Mello & a guilt-ridden Matt. Read to find out more. If you could, please read & review? Reviews are loved. Warnings: None?


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Deathnote**_

_**A/N: My first ever fanfiction! So please do read and review if you want! All reviews will be loved and appreciated!  
Warnings: Yaoi**_

_**Rating: T**_

_**Mello**_

"_Mumm-y?" The blonde fell onto his knees as a solid fist crushed his ribs. The teddy bear that Aunt Morry had given was yanked away from him, the sides tearing under the pressure. He gasped in sheer horror as his mother tore it apart, spilling the cotton that was dwelling from within. He dragged his heavy body across the parquet flooring, scrambling towards the mess of cotton and fur which used to be the first present he had ever received. His heart shattered into smithereens as he gingerly touched the wool and cotton of the shredded bear. It was his first present that he had ever received. Aunt Morry had given it to him just days ago: during his seventh birthday. Aunt Morry had actually travelled to London, from New. York, just to make sure that the beautiful bear arrived at Mello's doorstep just in time. Aunt Morry was a frail woman; at the ripe age of eighty-nine, her joints tormented her body each time she did as much as flinching her muscle. Yet, that did not stop her from travelling all the way from New York. Gentle tears welled in Mello's cerulean eyes as he clutched the chunks of cotton against his tiny chest, wishing with all his heart that it would stitch itself back up; but he knew it wouldn't. Despite his childish demeanour, he was actually a smart kid. He knew a lot more things than an average child should and could. He was proud to say that he was a genious._

_He stared blankly at the woman who stood before him, her emerald eyes were seething with ire as her breath came out in short, disturbed puffs. Wet. He ran a finger on his cheeks. Why was the house raining? He asked to himself as he frowned, pulling his knees against his small frame. He burrowed his head in between his knees as he allowed the warmth of the cotton embrace him dearly. It beckoned a sense of nostalgia as he recalled the warmth he felt when he had hugged Aunt Morry just days ago. _

"_You… You dog! Go to hell!" The woman's blue violet eyes scanned her surroundings with great anxiety as her teeth clattered before her long fingers found their ways around an iron bar. _

"_I will… I will teach you what happens if you ever talk to outsiders!" His mother screeched in resentment, hurling a string of abuses at the poor innocent child who was curled into a ball on the cold wooden floor, scared to death and scarred for life. His mother had a multiple personality disorder. Most of the times, she was this senile old woman who had nothing to lose. Sometimes, she was a child: a child who had his first taste of ice-cream. It was hard to anticipate which personality would surface. _Most of the times, he was caught off guard by his mother's queer behaviour.

Mello's lips muttered his silent prayers as he clutched his rosary, his head still tucked in between his legs as he rocked back and forth. He did not dare to even look up lest the wrathful beast before him lash out at him.

Without warning, the pale woman held up the iron bar and rained a pack of powerful blows onto Mello's tender body. His bones groaned and screeched as anguish shot through his small being.

Stop. Stop. Stop. He chanted silently, not daring to even glance up as he rocked at an increasing pace. Suddenly, there was silence: A peaceful serene moment which brought warmth to his tiny heart.

_Just as suddenly it came, so suddenly it went: His body was splashed with a scorching hot liquid, scalding part of his beautiful face and smooth chest. He winced at the pain but did nothing to ease the torment he was feeling. The woman inched closer to him before pressing a blistering hot iron against his face, scarring his angelic face for life. Mello screamed in agony as he writhed under his mother, who by now, was cackling with joy, so contented at the suffering her own flesh and blood went through. Sometimes, it left Mello wondering if his mother was actually human._

That was twelve years ago. It was also during that time that Mello had met that stunning redhead of his. When he had first met him, he honestly had no idea that he was going to be the most important person in his life. His blue eyes settled themselves onto a beautiful redhead just beside Mello.

The redhead stared with such melancholy and sorrow at Mello that it made Mello's heart ache. The redhead meant so much to him. He could never remember a time that Mello had disregarded the redhead as his other half. Matt's emerald orbs revealed nothing but despair in them as he gazed longingly at Mello. Who would have thought – in a thousand years, that the great Mafia boss would drop dead sooner or later.

Yes. He was dying. Mello had known about that fact a year ago and he had long accepted it. In a succession of quick movements, he peeled off the woollen blanket off of him. The stench of the hospital had dominated his senses, leaving him drowsy and breathless; no, not in a good way.

Cold fingers trembling, he unbuttoned five pearly buttons, working upwards towards his neck. Peeling it off, he ran his fingers over his chest. There was a melange of leather biting into one another, wrapping him in some sort of harness, creating the appearance of a leather shell. The leather bit into his skin; no matter how much he tried to loosen it. Struggling for air, Mello released the leather from the silver buckles, sighing contentedly as they fell onto his soft sheets. Matt threw him a glance; as if to say: do you need help? But Mello had already wished to do everything he could himself, so to enjoy the joy of being alive, even if it was for a few seconds.

He ran his bony fingers across his bare chest: The skin on his torso was so soft that they have appeared cut from porcelain yet, on the bottom left corner of his torso was a huge bruise. He would have these weird bruises appearing on placed such as his nose and cheeks; making him look like a punching bag. That was just one of the symptoms of his illness.

The first few symptoms appeared a year ago; when his body was constantly being overwhelmed with fatigue each time he ran for more than fifteen seconds. He would then experience episodes, which would usually last up to an hour or so. At first, he had thought that it was due to the alcohol that he had been drowning himself in lately. So he had severed all intimate bonds with the liquid. However, the symptoms did not disappear. Instead, it worsened. He started losing weight rapidly as well as developed reddened skin. Most of the times, when he had just woken up from sleep; he would always be down with fever.

By then, he knew that something was wrong. Pain overwhelmed him as he lay on his bed, vulnerable to the eyes of mortals. The doctor had confirmed his worst fears: He had cancer. Doctors predicted that he would have at least a year more before his body turns into a living corpse, eating itself inside out before he finally dies. Even treatment would not stop the illness.

Mello cringed as he faced the redhead. Matt was the only person he loved. His dearest other half who had always and will always be with him. Be it through thick or thin, Matt was the only person there for him. Even when everyone had picked on him and ostracize him because of his scars, Matt heard him out. To Mello, Matt was a perfect creature, a creature only belonging behind the divine gates of heavens, sent to earth to protect Mello: to soothe his aching heart. How could h ever think of leaving that clumsy idiot by himself?

"M-matt-y," Mello croaked; his voice was barely recognisable. His throat was all parched and dried up that he even had difficulty when swallowing his saliva. Matt's brilliant emerald eyes were now watery and red.

"Yes, Mells?" He ran his hand on Mello's entwining their fingers as he did so.

"Remember… To watch out f-for traffic. Don't get into… an accident," The blonde whispered, his voice pained and weak as he let his numb body sink into the hospital bed.

"And remember, to feed Melly," He voice was barely even a whisper. Melly was beautiful golden feline that both Matt and Mello had adopted a few years ago. To Mello, Melly was their beautiful child that they never had.

"Mells! Don't say that! Y-you'll make it through. You won't leave me, right?" Matt questioned as he tightened the grip on Mello's fragile hand. Tears had already begun to sting the redhead's green eyes. He choked back on his tears as he watch the blonde plaster a gentle smile on his lips. Matt lowered his head as he lifted Mello's chin, brushing the tip of their noses together as they embraced each other in a light eskimo kiss.

"Mells, stay with me. I need you; now and always!" Matt's curvy lips wavered as he bit down onto them, forcing his tears to remain in their rightful eyes; behind his sinful façade. Mello tenderly brushed his lips against Matt's, basking in the simple joy that it offered him. Just to have Matt here by his side was enough. Matt had already done so much for him: maybe too much. All his life Mello had been crude and crass but that was because he couldn't trust anyone: he wouldn't. Matt nibbled on Mello's lips as he caressed Mello's soft cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Matt-y. But I'll leave peacefully, knowing you were the only person I trusted in my whole life." Mello broke away from the kiss.

Mello's lips broke into a smile. Usually, when he was at the hospital he would go to bed at twelve midnight but today was different: The constant ticking of the clock made his heart flutter. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. _ And then, there was silence. For the first time in his life, he had felt peace at long last. Time and tide waits for no men, or so they say. But Mello knew that he did not hold any grudges, for his beautiful love was there with him until the very end.

_**Matt**_

Matt's heart stopped when Mello's grip loosen as Mello fell into the hospital bed.

"M-mells? Mells? Noo! " He screamed as he grasped his lover's hand, which was now growing cold and stone-like in his grasp. Every single second he shared with Mello flashed across his mind: The constant bickering; the constant bitching; then there was the lovemaking. Matt stared blankly at his lifeless lover and remorse fogged up his mind about when he had made him angry or sad. The redhead could not completely comprehend the fact that he was gone. Never again will he ever feel giddy and happy with his touch; never again will he be able to feel those soft loving lips against his; never again would Mello tell him off for hiding his precious chocolate; never again would Mello wink at Matt seductively when he knew he had turned him on. He would never again smile. Matt could not accept the fact that he was not there. _This must be a sick joke_. In his mind, he could see Mello at peace, somewhere safe but he could not stop the tears. After all, he was the very reason for that illness that doctors had mistaken for cancer.

_**A/N: So how was it? This I my first fanfiction so far and I have a lot to learn. So please review, you awesome readers! Reviews will make my day! Thank you for reading!**_


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